Marriya Schwarz is a comedian and writer from the Washington D.C. area, so yeah - she's well-versed in avoiding eye contact on a packed rush hour Metro car - no big deal. She recently graduated in 2020 with a Bachelor's degree in American Studies and Creative Writing from William & Mary. She thought she would figure out what American Studies was over four years. (She didn't.)

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Marriya has worked several odd jobs, including lying to children about what obscene graffiti on a playground 

really meant while serving as a camp counselor (a cock is slang for chicken, kids), managing a real life haunted house, teaching students how to tap dance, and working for a showrunner.

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Marriya has been published in several venues, including Slate Magazine, Women eNews, and Slackjaw.

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Currently, she writes comedic satire, bullies friends into helping her record comedy videos and webseries, and transcribes 18th century almanacs for fun. (Marriya swears she has friends. We're just never in the same room at the same time.)

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This blog is a big jumble of her thoughts and opinions (which she has a lot of!) and the perfect answer to her parents asking "so what do you do all day?"

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Someday, Marriya Schwarz hopes to highlight a photograph on her "About" section that doesn't look like she's a 2000s- era Disney Channel star.

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