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A Tornado Tore Up My Dreams

Writer's picture: marriyaschwarzmarriyaschwarz

Updated: Dec 27, 2020

For Everything But...'s October 2020 issue, I designed and lead the whole publication, while also writing a personal essay. The story in original format can be found here.


For as long as I can remember, I have had three main goals in life: 1) to have my picture hanging up on the wall of some random family-owned restaurant because I’ve single handedly eaten their 28-inch pizza, a 7-pound burrito, or a burning hot curry, 2) come to a place in my life where I can feel at peace with myself and feel accepted by those around me while working at a career that brings me both wealth and happiness and feel financially stable enough that I’m not worried about the $10 I spent on the magnetic letters I used on the cover of this zine when I could have easily just made it all digitally and maybe it was a stupid freaking purchase and I want a government that actually puts the country first and not some guy who tweets out that everyone should lock up people or liberate states and PEOPLE ACTUALLY LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE’S JUST SHITPOSTING IN ALL CAPS WHILE ON THE TOILET… and 3) to win a Halloween costume contest.


The first goal comes from TV, the second from the news, and the third from my past. From beginners (a pretentious version of daycare where everyone was 3 and screaming, but they insisted on trying to teach us French and that kiwis are actually good fruits, even though I remember them sucking and I refuse to try them ever again) to fifth grade, I went to a local private school. Like most private schools I’ve seen on TV, this school had a fairly strict dress code. We all had to wear collared shirts and blouses in any solid color, as long as they did not match our bottoms, which were Khakis, corduroy pants, etc. It was a strictly no jeans, no hair dye, no nose piercings kind of place. The few times that we were allowed to break dress code were Denim Days, Field Day, and Halloween. So naturally, Halloween became kind of a huge deal. Everyone would dress up, attend the class party, go on a costume parade around the outside of the school, and listen as they announced who won the costume contest for each grade.


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